Suffering often makes us feel hopeless, like death would be a better option than living, an easier way out…..But God has something redemptive for us in our suffering, something refining, something better than our hopeless despair-
I Wanted to Die - by Stephanie Schaible
In my personal devotional, I mentioned Sisyphus and how I found thoughts of him dancing around in my head during my last Covid reinfection and Long-Covid relapse. Going through this over and over again for the past 3 years was beginning to feel like having that boulder roll back down the hill on me shortly after making my way back up the recovery mountain. My experience with Covid is not my first post-viral rodeo. I’ve been through something like this before, but not with this kind of frequency of reinfection and intense relapses. I want to clarify that having feelings of wanting to die or wishing for death are not the same thing as considering suicide as far as I’m concerned. Long Covid messes with so many things including mood and feelings of being very off- of feeling not like yourself at all. I’ve heard other long haulers express feelings of wanting to die. Sadly, some are considering and committing suicide.
Cancer also comes bringing the possibility of death with it, but Christ comes bringing promises of life. Through His death, we receive life. That’s ultimately what Leaving Death in the Dust is about, making a clean break from our dismal death situation. With Christ, death is dead, defeated, a transition to eternal life with Him. And until death comes to us and takes us to Him, God primarily meets us in the natural and ordinary things He has provided us with for our sustenance and healing- the communion bread and the cup, modern medicine, counseling, giving and receiving love, etc.
The inspired words of St. Paul give us more to think about during times when we are suffering and longing for another world-
21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.
Philippians 1 NIV - Bible Gateway
Paul was needed in this realm, and you are too, so that the name of Jesus Christ continues to be boasted of here on earth. You are probably still needed here for other things as well. I pray that you are encouraged by what is being shared here, that it gives you hope and helps keep you from sinking down into hopeless despair and unhealthy thoughts of death. If you are still alive, it’s for a reason. Don’t give up!
Back to Sisyphus-
Sisyphus (in Greek Mythology) is the shrewd, deceitful, and sometimes ruthless founder and King of Corinth who cheated death, was condemned, and sentenced to roll a boulder up a hill in Hades, forever. Every time Sisyphus reaches the top of the hill, the boulder rolls back down and all of humanity is thus reminded that it can’t cheat death or the gods. This kind of mythology makes me glad to know Christ.
Thankfully, my despairing thoughts of Sisyphus were tempered by a study I saw about drowning rats and Hope. Apparently, rats who have been treading water for a very long-time, will swim longer than they did before, if they are taken out of the water and given a break before being placed back in the water to tread again. This good news made me feel more like a hopeful, treading, rat than a despairing Sisyphus.
“the rats quickly learn that the situation is not actually hopeless” and that “after elimination of hopelessness the rats do not die.”
Drowning Rats Psychology Experiment: Resilience and the Power of Hope - The World of Work Project
Your healing will be more comprehensive when you begin to understand that your illness can be the inspiration of necessary changes in your life.
Have you found that your illness has inspired good things for you? Has anything good come out of your illness?
I believe that good things can come from unfortunate events and find that hearing the recovery and survivor stories of others who have persevered and healed to be inspiring. Their stories help me to not lose hope or wallow in despair. This is why we began Leaving Death in the Dust by sharing healing stories. As we approach our 1st anniversary, I would like to look back with you and remember how prayer and someone else’s healing story got this publication started:
Pray First - by Stephanie Schaible (substack.com)
And, if you are new here and haven’t yet, please take a minute to take a look at our Welcome page.
Knowing that healing is possible, gives us hope, and helps us make healing a reality.
Healing is about more than what happens to the body. The Book of Hebrews says that Christ learned obedience through the things he suffered in his body.
The following thought-provoking questions I will be leaving you with are from Reflections: How Can Good Come Out Of Suffering? - C.S. Lewis Institute (cslewisinstitute.org)
Would you like to be used by God as a son or daughter for the good of other people? If so, prayerfully consider: What are some of the things you might do to love God and neighbor?
“For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” GALATIONS 5:14 (ESV)
If you’re praying and asking God to take your trials from you, remember to also ask Him for the grace to bear them well if He does not.
Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake.
Amen.
Thank You for being here with us!
Blessings,
Stephanie