Dad's Healing Hands
How Do You Cope with Pain?
My Aunt Christine likes this picture of my dad sitting in the chemo danger zone chair, because she says, he has their dad’s hands.
What if many of our modern illnesses are due to us forgetting how to use our hands in the same way that people were made to use their hands from the beginning- in slow, simple, intentional, attentive, beautiful, creative, purposeful, skillful, artistic, thoughtful, genuine ways using loving movements? Taking the time to feel the materials we are working with creates deep heart hand connections to what we are doing within our souls. Imagining what our creation will be like when we are done and experiencing the joy of what we have created when it is finished is very satisfying. Working with our hands can increase our positive emotions and help our bodies to heal. When we touch what we are creating, with love for what we are doing, our pain will move out of our bodies and into what we are creating. The pain may not entirely go away, but it sure won’t hurt as much when you see it living in your creation, and it brings you joy, and you can feel that joy deep down in your soul.
On his good days dad was able to paint. I think he may have even given away more of his artwork and painted more paintings for others while he was sick and on chemo than he did before cancer interrupted his life. Focusing on others rather than yourself also helps a lot when you are sick, it kind of helps me alleviate feelings of self-pity that can creep in and threaten to take over. I’m no painter, but I did buy a box of crayons and a coloring book at one point when I was at my sickest last summer, and I was able to do some gardening on my better days (while wrestling with long-covid) using the PACE method, a method that cancer patients could possibly benefit from. Pacing is about learning how to properly utilize your energy when you do feel good so that you don’t crash and burn from overexerting your gimpy mitochondria while they are still damaged or beginning to heal. Each precious plant that I grew last summer was more enjoyed and appreciated than they ever were before. Each day that I was able to go outside and feel the sun on my skin and smell the earth as I dug into it brought more joy than I ever noticed before. Each butterfly and bumble bee I saw flitting around in my flowers made up for the fire ants that sometimes stung my feet and legs.
As I said last time- Staying positive is not unicorn rainbow fart wishful thinking. Staying positive is remaining hopeful in a grim situation and appropriately managing your negative emotions as they occur while still pursuing your healing goals. This is no joke when you’re feeling sicker than you have probably ever felt in your entire life, and what they are trying to save you with is making you sicker and even more irritable and confused about why this is happening to you and maybe even angry or depressed and _________; and then just when you are starting to feel better, you have to go get back in the roller coaster, chemo danger zone chair, again. I can sort of relate, getting re-exposed to Covid each time I’ve had it and wondering what kind of reset of symptoms I’m going to experience each time it happens can really mess with my head.
So, give your pain another place to live other than your body. Put it in your music, painting, writing, sewing, pottery, singing, dancing, cooking, or ________. Let what you are touching calm you. Everything that is made with the hands is made with the heart. Sink your hands into the earth if you can, move them around, find the much-needed peace you are looking for and let that peace live in your soul.
Survivors find ways to experience love, happiness, and joy on their good days. They purposely do these things each day even if it’s only for a few minutes on their bad days in order to help their bodies heal. Aunt Christine went through old family photos and shared them with dad which strengthened their special connection through relived happy memories. She must have gone through a zillion photos the week before dad’s 1st scan following the completion of his scheduled chemo. I think it got them both through difficult days, and I got to see some scenes from their lives that I had never seen before.
Start each day with gratitude. I visualized dad’s tumors shrinking with each picture that he sent of himself sitting in the chemo danger zone chair. The tumors are now gone from dad’s body. Thats a pretty big deal! Beauty from ashes. Phoenix rising.
What brings you peace, hope, joy and healing?
Oh yeah, don’t forget to pray,
Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake.
Amen.
*Leaving Death in the Dust is a newsletter and is not a replacement for professional, regulated, medical, healthcare. It is informational and educational. Some of us in this community may have worked in the healthcare system, but we are not your medical provider and whatever you find here is not the establishment of a professional medical relationship or medical advice.